Waiting in the transition space.

A long time in the waiting room paired with nerves and fear don't go nicely together. I remember when I was about to go into a specialists appointment to discuss my test results, and ultimately find out what was wrong with me, I was terrified. Myself and my mum go into the hospital outpatient waiting room, waiting for my name to be called. I remember sitting there trying to distract myself on my phone from the nerves, while my mum wanted to talk about what may happen in that appointment, which amped up my nerves more. Then after about half an hour, my name finally got called, and I thought that was it, that the wait was over. Well it wasn't. The nurse led us into another waiting room, where we continued to wait for another 15 minutes for my specialist. Probably the most terrified time in a waiting room ever. It got to the point where I didn't want to go into the specialists office, I was happy just to wait in the waiting room and then go home.

Life can be like this sometimes. When we have prayed for a miracle or waiting for a promise to be fulfilled by God, we can get too comfortable in the waiting room. The nerves can fill us with uncertainty and wanting to turn back. The people in Numbers 33 experienced this when waiting to go into the promised land.

They said, "If we have found favour with you, let this land be given to your servants as a possession. Don't make us cross the Jordan." - Numbers 32:5

They were getting cold feet. They had gotten so comfortable in the place of waiting where they were that they were willing, and wanting, to give up the breakthrough and gift of the promised land that He had given them to stay where they were comfortable. You may look at this situation and get frustrated at the people, saying, "Just get into the promised land already, it is way better than where you are!" But we can do the exact same thing in our lives. We can compromise God's gift for comfort, the promised land for familiarity. In this, we are missing out on the fullness of His goodness in our life. We are being disloyal to Him, as we are choosing comfort over faith, our will over His.

Looking back on your life, I'm sure you can pinpoint so many choices and decisions you had made, rivers you've had to cross, to get you to where you are today. Those decisions would've been hard, but worth it. They would of been uncomfortable, but been the result of a more fulfilled life. Personally, my decision to take a gap year to do bible college mean losing financial and relational comfort, that me not continuing my degree the next year led to losing a $5000 scholarship and disappointing my family. But now, I can see it was a river well worth crossing as it led me to growing in my faith and confidence, knowing more about God, running youth events, preaching, and most importantly finding a love for marketing, which caused me to change my major from one I wasn't happy with to one which I had so much passion for.

Our faith means to get uncomfortable, to cross that river in your life when you want to stay in the waiting space. But there is so much more for you in God when you cross that river.